Sometimes I don’t wear my glasses because I don’t want to see!
Sounds daft doesn’t it? But I quite like the blurred world it means I don’t notice things. Some days I see too much and it makes my head ache from all the information to process. It nice sometimes not to notice all the outlines and all the details of life.
Some days it’s easier because if I notice the outlines and the details it means I have to cope or deal with them, I have to notice them and be apart of them and sometimes I don’t want too or don’t feel like I can cope with it.
It’s a sensory overload too much to process all at the same time. I see everything all at once it can be amazing when it is a spectacular view and I can pick out all the details, I like the colours and shades, I like taking photos for that reason to see all the colours and the abstract views, to play with the images to create a soft blur and deep colours. I would like to literally see through rose tinted glasses it will soften my world.
Sometimes though colours are too bright too vivid too noisy, it’s like they don’t switch off in my head too much to take in all at once.
Words and conversations are a similar feeling it can be difficult too especially if there are other conversations going on because I will hear all of them at once, or I zone out and hear nothing. It all depends on how I am feeling, some days are better than others and sometimes it can be a tiny little thing that can simply up skittle my whole day and that could be something like a change of routine. So when I am like that I hide away and seek quietness somewhere completely quiet, dark and still. I like stillness.
So if I walk past you without saying hello don’t take it personally, I probably haven’t got my glasses on – I haven’t seen you through the blur of life, it’s just that it is all too much to process…