Trying to swim…

Trying to swim…

I have this awful feeling of trying to swim and float on the water when underneath I am paddling like crazy and just about keeping my head above water. I am feeling a little overwhelmed and emotional right now due to going back to work. It’s strange to think that a routine change can really effect me. Trying to remain positive and not overload myself but starting to slip into state of thinking I am drowning. Trying hard to fit in is tough. I just have that feeling of being out of sorts, I was even struggling with even listening today. I couldn’t process the information and it was just floating around my head. It still is now and so I can’t sleep its 12:40am and I am still wide awake! I want to please people and I want everything to be ok and to be happy and I find it difficult when things are even slightly negative it makes my emotions inside spiral out of control its utter craziness really. I wish I could switch it off a bit of a sensory overload…

I am also worried about my son who also has Aspergers his night errors have started again I think it is because he is going back to school too. He gets over anxious and it manifests into night terrors at night time he wakes up and then he is physically sick. It is difficult sometimes for him as he struggles to switch off too and his thoughts are just swishing around his head at night. 

I know he struggles and he knows I do too. He will come over and ask for a hug when he thinks I need it so we sort of understand each other. We both paddle like crazy and in a way we are both just trying to swim…


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